My name is Andrew Henderson and I'm trading up from absolutely nothing to...
... a Rolls Royce car!
Or... a Bentley car!
In however many steps it takes. Of course.
It's my hobby.
Check out my current offerings below - yes, I've traded up from nothing to all of these - and feel free to make me an offer of any number of your things for any number of mine.
I'm always interested in offers of anything, and I really do mean anything...
Currently I drive a 1996 Volvo 440, arguably an upgrade from my previous car - a battered rusty old Honda Civic which I had to scrap in March - but only just... this one's rusty too!
Just so happens I've never seen a rusty Rolls Royce or Bentley, so I figure one of these practical motors would do me for a while, if only I could somehow upgrade to one...
My blog covers all my trades... and even a bit more! And all of these articles are just brilliant, I'm sure you will agree...
I am based somewhere in the middle of England, and am prepared to travel to anywhere on earth to make a trade if I think it makes sense.
Anywhere except The City of Iqaluit that is, which the rest of the world figures must actually exist because "they have a website".
Well actually I've agreed to a few postal trades now, but I am very particular about doing those.
There are no trees in Iqaluit. Apparently. Assuming there really is such a place...
Also why not check out a television crew gate-crashing my Trade 11 at Leicester Square in London! And then having the cheek to rename it "TRADE 1"!!...
They Said It, Not Me...
"...announce to the world that I love Basset Hounds." - Kyle MacDonald (Kipling SK, Canada), by email
I really should try to find more quotes for here. Hmm.
Two and a half hours on a plane from Birmingham to Warsaw...
... followed by another two and a half east in a train from Warsaw to the city of Bialystok, which I still can't pronounce...
... and finally half an hour in a car through wooded land, to close to a village... and we were there!
Somewhere in the sticks in eastern Poland, about thirty miles from Belarus, which was not so long ago part of the USSR.
I travelled to Poland with Kate, who was once my land lady. She charged me wayyy too much rent back then, come to think of it.
Never mind.
Anyway, Kate is Polish, and for her this was a trip home. But for me, this was my first time in Poland.
On arriving Kate's mum treated me to beetroot soup, and other excellent food...
... and her father helped me and himself to just a few refills of excellent Polish vodka.
Kate's cool sister Ela was there too. She couldn't wait to see me...
... but she couldn't "under any circumstances" shake my hand - doctor's strict orders.
The next evening I went along with Kate and her Dad to visit their friends the Pilczuk family, right on the outskirts of Bialystok.
Three of us went for a walk through the woods, but only one of us got bitten by mosquitoes, or more like half-consumed. Now I'm not suggesting there was something sinister going on here, but the fact is the only non-Pole amongst us was targetted.
So I suspect those mosquitoes may have been Government trained.
Anyway, once back in the house Mrs. Pilczuk applied a magic ointment all over my head, neck, arms and legs, and I was all better.
Excellent food was served, and more excellent Polish vodka was downed. And I think at some point Kate explained this trading nothing thing, in Polish, and I pointed to the bird house on the floor when asked what would be a good thing to swap...
Some time later, When we were saying goodbye, Mrs. Pilczuk presented me with the said bird house to take with me. I tried to explain I had nothing with me to swap for it, but I wasn't going to be allowed to leave without it.
Kate organised the taking of a photo, which is now the official trading nothing Trade 27 photo. We just didn't know we were doing Trade 27 at the time, or the beginning of it at least...
That's Kate's Dad on the left, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest.
The next few days we spent just hanging out, with a couple of excursions into the city.
Some of the graffiti on view...
... was more impressive than other graffiti...
I did bring a few small items along to Poland (these, these and this), just in case...
"So what does Kate look like?" did you ask? Oh, she already appeared in the Trade 6 report, but here she is yet again on the left, and that's her cool sister Ela on the right...
Kate sorted a Bialystok to Warsaw bus ticket for me, in Polish of course, and the ticket guy punched in my name...
... in Polish of course.
Very funny.
I suddenly felt exceptionally enterprising and super efficient, and went about my business here...
... and there...
... but even with all that going on, I still wanted to do a trade before my return to England.
Ela wanted the turtle, one of Mairi Stone's "Little Animals", because it reminded here of her boyfriend, Pavel. I think I got that right. And she also wanted the snake.
That left five little animals. Kate wanted one for herself, and the remaining four were put aside to be handed over on my behalf to the Pilczuk family, to complete Trade 27. These four in fact...
So Trade 27 was taken care of, but what would I get from Ela and Kate?
I was taken to a room used for storage, and was pretty much told to take what I wanted. So I picked out four things I liked, that I thought I could trade on, find new homes for. I also accepted one item that was being used in the house.
We did Trade 28 proper on the evening before I returned to England. Two of the Pilczuk family's little animals wanted in on the photo (see them in the background?), and Kate again did the honours...
Oh, I hope Ela's doctor never sees that photo.
The next morning I was driven into the city to take the early morning Bialystok to Warsaw bus. I travelled back alone, Kate was staying for a while longer.
We arrived in Warsaw, but I thought we were in Manhattan...
I also thought the air traffic control procedures at Warsaw Airport were somewhat unusual...
So, I came back with six new interesting items, now added to the mix and up for a trade:
You can check out my current offerings below, and feel free to make me an offer of any number of your things for any number of mine. (Or, if you prefer, give me a shout).
I'm always interested in offers of anything, and I really do mean anything...
